turn to God

The passions are feelings that seem real.

They can be desires that seem good.

Sin can be confusing

In it we can get lost

We can think we are fine

We can think that if only I had this thing

If I had what I desire, I would have joy.

It is not so.

Sin will never bring you joy.

A sinful situation can only ever be a disaster.

Even if it works out.

You might have a sinful relationship and think that it will be good if it works out.

It won’t be.

It will never be good.

It will always be a disaster.

You are better off if it doesn’t work out

because that way, you are set free by force.

If you are so lucky, if like Lot you are given a chance to get out, then walk away and don’t turn back to look.

Thank your lucky stars, thank the Lord, and get away.

A sin will never bring you happiness even if you think it will.

You might think it will.

You might think if this or that were different

If only this or that little thing were different,

You would have joy.

You would never have joy

You would never have joy

Never would you have joy.

Joy is a property of the good.

You can be wrong.

We are all the time wrong.

All the time, we are wrong.

All the time, we are wrong.

All the time, we are wrong.

Do not trust your self.

Do not trust your mind,

Do not trust your impassioned senses.

Turn to the Lord and ask Him

Follow His example

Listen to His word.

Follow His word

Follow His commandments.

Listen to His saints

Look and see His way.

Our mind is in sin and in sin did our mother conceive us.

We are buried in sin, we are aimed at the wrong,

Our feelings are deceived and they aim at the wrong

We think what we want is good but we are wrong.

We believe a lie

We live in a lie

We do not know the truth from the lie.

We need to turn round

We need to go the other way

There is only one way.

Only by following the way of the Lord can you get out of this mess.

In this mess the bad pretends to be sometimes good and sometimes bad.

It pretends that there are good things and bad things here, and that you only need to just sort out the good things.

We believe a lie: 'that our will shall please us'.

'That satisfying our will will please us'.

We think: 'our wills are noble and good'

This is wrong

We are wrong

Our wills are wrong

Our mind is corrupt

Our desires are faulty.

Everything in this mess is bad.

Everything here is wrong.

You need to get out of here.

You need to turn towards the light and run.

Run for your life

Stop for nothing

Hold on to nothing.

Look back for nothing

Everything here is bad.

Do not trust your desires and your senses, they lie.

Follow the light, get out of this hole.

We are in Hades.

We are underground

We are buried as belongs to the dead.

We are in the space of the dead.

Everything here is dead.

Everything is an illusion and a lie.

See that little hole, see where that light is coming from?

Run!

Run there for your life.

You cannot know the way. You do not know how to get out.

Don’t be a fool

Turn to God and ask Him.

Ask him to raise you from the dead

To bring you forth into the light.

Run for your life.

There is nothing of value here, do not be fooled.

Empty your pockets, drop whatever is in your hand.

Be afraid, be cautious, lest anything from here stay with you.

Keep nothing

Eat nothing

Keep nothing.

Let nothing from the world of the dead tie you down.

Turn to the Lord

Call for His help.

See His light

And run for your life.

Now.

but can you?

Usually when I make a loud noise it is somehow untrue.

It is a feeling, a need that will pass.

It will not be eternal.

Because it is a cry. A need. An expression

of pain.

And a gentle hand, a loving God

A kind breeze

will come in and calm it.

Even if no one else does.

When no one else will.

A soft breeze will bring peace.

Reader, I left you today.

Sometimes I write for you,

but sometimes, I write just for me.

sometimes writing to you helps me to stay close. To stay near by.

But on some days, on days like today,

it helps me to get away.

I needed my notebook today.

Together we went somewhere else.

I write because I have to.

Hear the poetry in that.

If you can.  

friends

I have no friends but those who seek and love truth.

And they are few, far too few.

Just a notice

O happy day!

What a happy day was today.

I taught a tutorial and did of it a good job.

I watched people learn,

I saw them awaken to thought.

I found a big chair by a window,

and had a proper hot chocolate,

and read CS Lewis: the abolition of man.

The quality of his work is inspiring, it is joyful, it is exhilarating and exciting.

How I love good quality work!

How my mind feasts on good quality thought!

I feel the fun and the pleasure abound.

Questions are born in me, and answering them is my joyful project.

I can use all of this, I can make more good work.

My heart rejoices, my mind laughs.

And tonight I will see my true friends.

Other people who love truth and seek it.

Some old people, some priests, a little family, some students, a guy.

I will go to vespers.

I will bow my head to the Lord

And in thanksgiving I will rejoice

I cannot express my thankfulness enough.

Being there will not be enough to express my joy.

I will ask God to have mercy on me and never to leave me.

My heart will reach for His Grace.

Ever so minutely.

I cannot reach for God.

I cannot even try.

All I will do is be there, and be glad.

Holy Holy Holy art thou o Lord and only thou art Holy

Seek the kingdom of heaven and the rest will be added to you.

The future is bright

The present is rich

It is spring in my heart

Like everyday, in company with my Creator, it is spring in my heart.

My poetry will become outdated

Irrelevant

Lost in time,

Like everything it will pass away.

Like my sentiments, both good and bad, will pass away.

But the Truth will not.

If we can just take a little hint,

and a little tint

from one another,

and pass it on.

Poets of old, I don’t care in fact anymore for what you did.

Like no one will care for mine.

But I appreciate it.

I hope you spoke of the truth in your time.

I hope I can speak of it in mine.  

remembrance

They tell you that it is all known.

That it is closed and decided.

That they have the power and the knowledge, and that you need to follow them and be fed it by them.

The world is art and you are free

Genius is new and it follows its own truth.

Don’t follow them, follow the truth.

The world is art and we are free.

The doors are open, the sky is high, the air is fresh, they know nothing.

You were not born into a world that is old, or finished, or known.

They know nothing.

The world is art and we are free.

If you cannot breath then open a window.

If the dust has settled then clean out your heart.

Lighten your mind by throwing out sin.

Lighten your pack by throwing out your sin.

Leave all your nonsense behind.

Follow the truth and do not stay huddled in a lie.

Kick off this loathsome clutter

Beat off this clingy stuff.

Open a window, clean out your crap.

It’s not over yet.

Let me tell you a practical thing:

There are other people there who have lived, who look and see, who incline their ears and hear.

You are not alone out there. There, where the meeting of the minds and of hearts really happens, it is there that really you will meet.

Come out

at a distance from God

At a distance from God there is darkness and death

There is illness.

The thought of that space is repugnant

Everything about it is wrong.

Not for a second would I want to be there.

Not for a moment could I stand it

Not at all could I bear it.

Breathing would be easier at the bottom of the sea.

So then how could I have lived there for so long?

Why do I speak about God all the time?

Why do I write, again and again, about this same love?

Why do I sing you the same song?

Does it become not a bore?

I do so because one is Holy, one is Lord.

Because every good thing comes from on high

Because besides God nothing is good.

I write about it because it is all I have.

In truth I am ill and it is my only hope.

I am dying, and of healing it is my only source.

I am underwater in a sinking ship, and there is only one little spot, one little space where the water is not.

One little corner of air.

I swim to the surface, I tilt my head and keep my mouth in that spot.

Only there do I breath.

When I speak with God.

I keep my self there, in that little crack of air and I wait. I wait for heaven. I wait for more.

I wait. 

good morning

I wanted to write to You, because speaking with you brings me peace.

I wanted to look at You, because Your sight is my joy.

I need Your rest.

I need Your rest so that I can go on.

I need Your peace so that I can do Your hard work.

Your burden is light because You carry it for me.

Your joy is enough because it is full.

I turn to You because I want to hear Your voice.

I look up and around for the light in Your eyes is the light of Love.

You are my home.

Come back.

Dear God. Thank You for being everywhere present and filling all things.

There is nothing else here

There is no one else here

There is nothing for me but what you give.

Without you there is a void.

It is in looking for You that I find.

It is in Your light that I see

And outside there it is only dark.

I long for You, and I am glad that You are here.

You hold on to me and I know not how to hold on to you. 
And I am glad that you do not let me go.

There are not words that matter

But words I use

Because with them I stall.

With them I traverse time

With them You stop a little,

And I can take a look.

Love, you are the light of the world.

You give me life.

good morning to you

This is a wish and a prayer, a good morning and a hello.

I miss You and I thank You for being.

In moments of silence You are there,

In corners of streets flowers grow.

Through windows and cracks sunlight comes in, and rests eternally peacefully, on creation and place.

You are my joy. You are in my life always.

My life is with You

And for You.

You are the only moment when life is.

In between

And everywhere

You smile at me.

There is your peace, and your rest, in the weight of the sun; in the way it sits on the pavement; on the chair; on my mind.

In the silence You are there. You are the joy of the world and I travel with You in your pocket.

Come back. 

Come back and quiet this noise. Make peaceful this place. End this make-belief. Make the darkness a soft shade. Warm the cold metals. Take me with you. Come back.