Saturday, March 23

when summer comes will you know?

I don’t want to be in a valley surrounded by crime, but in a valley surrounded by valleys and mountains. A valley enclosed by hills. By hills dressed in forests, and looking down to the sea. A sea bathed in heat, with sand and soil made white and yellow from sunlight. A soil you can smell and forests full of flowers.

Monday, March 11

reader do you have something to say?

I have never said anything true unless it was a song of praise to the Lord.
Because God is the Truth and only God.

I have never said anything good, except by default when I referred to the Lord,
Because only He is Good.

I have said a lot of nonsense and what a waste it was.
I have felt a lot of desires that were wrong.
I have wanted a lot of things that would have brought me spiritual death.
I have tried in vain, to make sense of nonsense. 
How tiring is nonsense.
How exhausting it is to try to make clear what is intentionally dirty.

I tried all day to clear the waters so that I can see my face
and the devil stirred mud into my puddle by night.
Every night.
What a waste of my time that has been.

Only with God is there clarity.
Only in God is there light enough to see.
Only the Truth actually makes sense.
I am so relieved to be rid of confusion.

I have no patience for nonsense.
I have no space for waste.
When there is the Good,
And there is Truth
And God has three persons.
Why would I do anything else?

What more do you want.
Seriously now, let us talk about this.
Tell me, what more can you possibly want?

turn to God

The passions are feelings that seem real.
They can be desires that seem good.
Sin can be confusing
In it we can get lost
We can think we are fine

We can think that if only I had this thing
If I had what I desire, I would have joy.
It is not so.
Sin will never bring you joy.
A sinful situation can only ever be a disaster.
Even if it works out.

You might have a sinful relationship and think that it will be good if it works out.
It won’t be.
It will never be good.
It will always be a disaster.
You are better off if it doesn’t work out
because that way, you are set free by force.

If you are so lucky, if like Lot you are given a chance to get out, then walk away and don’t turn back to look.
Thank your lucky stars, thank the Lord, and get away.

A sin will never bring you happiness even if you think it will.
You might think it will.
You might think if this or that were different
If only this or that little thing were different,
You would have joy.
You would never have joy
You would never have joy
Never would you have joy.
Joy is a property of the good.

You can be wrong.
We are all the time wrong.
All the time, we are wrong.
All the time, we are wrong.
All the time, we are wrong.
Do not trust your self.
Do not trust your mind,
Do not trust your impassioned senses.

Turn to the Lord and ask Him
Follow His example
Listen to His word.
Follow His word
Follow His commandments.
Listen to His saints
Look and see His way.

Our mind is in sin and in sin did our mother conceive us.
We are buried in sin, we are aimed at the wrong,
Our feelings are deceived and they aim at the wrong
We think what we want is good but we are wrong.
We believe a lie
We live in a lie
We do not know the truth from the lie.
We need to turn round
We need to go the other way
There is only one way.
Only by following the way of the Lord can you get out of this mess.

In this mess the bad pretends to be sometimes good and sometimes bad.
It pretends that there are good things and bad things here, and that you only need to just sort out the good things.
We believe a lie: 'that our will shall please us'.
'That satisfying our will will please us'.
We think: 'our wills are noble and good'

This is wrong
We are wrong
Our wills are wrong
Our mind is corrupt
Our desires are faulty.

Everything in this mess is bad.
Everything here is wrong.
You need to get out of here.
You need to turn towards the light and run.

Run for your life
Stop for nothing
Hold on to nothing.
Look back for nothing
Everything here is bad.
Do not trust your desires and your senses, they lie.
Follow the light, get out of this hole.

We are in Hades.
We are underground
We are buried as belongs to the dead.
We are in the space of the dead.
Everything here is dead.
Everything is an illusion and a lie.

See that little hole, see where that light is coming from?
Run there for your life.
You cannot know the way. You do not know how to get out.
Don’t be a fool
Turn to God and ask Him.
Ask him to raise you from the dead
To bring you forth into the light.

Run for your life.
There is nothing of value here, do not be fooled.

Empty your pockets, drop whatever is in your hand.
Be afraid, be cautious, lest anything from here stay with you.
Keep nothing
Eat nothing
Keep nothing.
Let nothing from the world of the dead tie you down.

Turn to the Lord
Call for His help.
See His light
And run for your life.

Thursday, March 7

but can you?

Usually when I make a loud noise it is somehow untrue.
It is a feeling, a need that will pass.
It will not be eternal.
Because it is a cry. A need. An expression
of pain.

And a gentle hand, a loving God
A kind breeze
will come in and calm it.

Even if no one else does.
When no one else will.
A soft breeze will bring peace.

Reader, I left you today.
Sometimes I write for you,
but sometimes, I write just for me.

sometimes writing to you helps me to stay close. To stay near by.
But on some days, on days like today,
it helps me to get away.

I needed my notebook today.
Together we went somewhere else.

I write because I have to.
Hear the poetry in that.

If you can.  


I have no friends but those who seek and love truth.
And they are few, far too few.