Things I will never tell that everyone will know

I will love him.

If it is God’s will,

If it will be, we can be married.

But I will love him anyway.

I will love him from now.

In the details of my mind, in the motions of my thoughts, I will prefer the acts of love.

For he is a person.

From this very moment, by default, every choice I will make will be an act of love.

Because I want to be free of vileness.

And I want to be kind.

It does not matter ‘where this will go’.

How would predicting the future effect the facts?

He is a human being.

A child of God.

And I must show him love.

The kindness of his mind, and of his heart

impresses me and teaches me how to be.

The smell of his soul is fresh

And the space of his heart is wide

And the pastures of his mind are green.

I thank you Lord,

I thank you God,

That you have shown me this.

How did I ever live in that distance

In that darkness away from God?

How did I ever survive in that death for so long?

In that death I stayed – though barely – alive

But now more and more each day, I live.

My Lord

My God

I owe you my life

I owe you my being

And my whole heart.

Of course I will love Your persons,

how can I not?

December